Do You Wonder What HEAVEN is Like?

Dear friend,

What happens to the souls of people who die young?

What do children do in heaven?

How do those who have passed communicate with the living?

World-famous medium and T.V. celebrity James Van Praagh answers these important questions in his new book Growing Up in Heaven.

Full of astonishing true stories, this book eases the pain for those left behind, and shines a light on a world that very few of us know or understand.Revealing truths about life after death you may NEVER have heard before, Van Praagh brings to light the amazing journey of children who have passed from earth to heaven.

Growing Up in Heaven follows the path of a child’s soul—their time spent in heaven and their connection to the living.

Listen to this! Van Praagh writes:

“A soul never stops growing and evolving no matter what form of life it takes. Sometimes a soul needs to touch the earth only briefly in order to fulfill its lessons. When children pass into the world of Spirit, their souls go directly to a realm of magnificent light made of glorious buildings, parks, waterways, and picturesque environments. It is also a place of intense soul-work, learning, and play. When children wake up in their heavenly home, they feel an innate stirring of familiarity because, like all souls, they have died and been reborn many times.”



Widely considered as one of the most accurate and authentic mediums in the WORLD, Van Praagh has written three New York Times bestselling books and was a producer of the hit T.V. show The Ghost Whisperer.

And now, in his newest book, Van Praagh reveals the reality that LOVE transcends the physical and material planes of this world; loved ones are never really lost and children who pass from this world are very HAPPY in heaven!

Growing Up in Heaven will offer you the knowledge that your departed friends and family will always be with you—an extraordinary gift if you yearn to understand life on the other side.

Here is the YouYube Video About The Book:





Your friend,
Danny

P.S. Here is the link for the book again:

What if you could do it all over again?

What book are you reading this week?

I’m reading an awesome book, Before I fall, by Lauren Oliver. I discovered it at Wal-Mart one night. The summary on the back was attention-getting for me.

I didn’t buy it right away, but did purchase it on Amazon a few days later because I wanted to know what happens in the story.

I love this book so far (after reading 60%)

Click on this Amazon link to read more about it. The book is ranked in the top 5,000 best-selling books on amazon as of today. That is a fairly good rank for a book. My children's book, Building Character" is ranked about 800,000.



It’s about this high school girl named Sam who dies in a car crash. She has what I like to call “Groundhog Day Syndrome.” It is like the movie groundhog day because she repeats the same day over and over again. Except it is Feb 12th a.k.a. Cupid Day at school in this book.

But this book is so much better than groundhog day!

I’m not certain if she is fully living her life with a second chance each day or living a shadow of it in an afterlife until she passes on.

Here is a youtube trailer for the book. I regret to say this trailer doesn’t do justice for the book. The book is so much more fascinating.

She gets to live her life over each day. She has the opportunity to do it different. What would you do if you could do it all over again?




I don't know the ending of this book yet because I still have about 40% more to read. This may be a good thing so I won't give any book-spoilers in this blog. I fully recommend this book. I'm going to give my copy to my mother after I read it.

Here is the link again:



Here is short book review I found on youtube:



Here is the link again:

Life Lessons

What are some lessons for life?

I posted: “Quick: What is a good life lesson? All answers accepted” on my facebook yesterday.

I received the following responses:

Faceobok can never teach us anything. – Brandon S.
When ya’ don’t live the same day twice, make tomorrow better than today. Stacy R.
Eveyone will let you down because we’re human. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for. – Heather P.
If you don’t know what to do, that means you’re not ready to do anything yet. Tara W.

Don’t scratch your butt and smell
Don’t pick your nose while you’re driving because someone always sees you.

You are not in control. Be flexible. Do not have expectations of how things should be and accept how things are. – Megan B.

Always expected the unexpected to happen so you’re always prepared for the best and the worst and not in shock when things happen. – Samantha

Let go and let God – see if His decisions aren’t better than yours. – Ellen C.

Make the best of your present as you will look back to them in fondness – Evelyn D.

You’re only in the world once. Laugh often. – Alicia M.

Smile – it’s contagious. Carmen B.

It always happens to somebody else until you are that somebody else. Don’t be quick to judge, you’re not that person and you don’t know their circumstances. – Sara S.

Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive anyways. – Heather M.

Treat others the way you would like to be treated yourself because karama is a “B.” – Jessica H.

The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt. – Paula B.

Learning forgiveness is a valuable life lesson. – Jackie J.

Remember that everybody can have a bad day or make a bad choice, but that does not mean they’re not worthy of your friendship. Treat people with kindness no matter what, not matter if it is a person on the street or the President of the United States.

We're all going to die one day.

Here is a picture of a sign for a funeral home in my neighborhood.

I take pictures while walking. I snapped the picture of this sign one day earlier this spring. I’m not certain why I had taken this picture, but felt that it was a good one for this blog entry. It is a sign that points to the place we’re all going to go to eventually.

I’m fortunate to be young and healthy, but we never know when our last day on Earth will be. Anything can happy. I hope to live long and healthy and I hope you do, too.

Our days on Earth are limited. We all know that one thing is certain. We all die sooner or later. It reminds me country singer Kenny Chesney’s song, “Don’t blink.” At the start of the song, Kenny sings about a man who turned 102-years-old and recommends that the secret to life is “don’t blink.”

I turned 30 this year. I didn’t really think much about it. I still feel young at heart. I do think about the years. I am still surprised to realize we’re in 2010!? Sometimes when I’m thinking I think that it is still 2006 or 2007.

During the 80s my family was so excited for 1992 because that was the last four digits of our telephone number. Kids born in 1992 are now turning 18. I thought that it would take forever for my senior year in high school to end in 1998. The 12 years since then have flown by. During the 80s I grew up hearing Prince’s song, “1999” and thought 1999 was “the future.” Things would be different. And things are different, but it didn’t feel like it. As you already know, 1999, is the past. It was a decade ago.

Rubin Gretchen had written in her book, “The Happiness Project” that the days are long and the years are short.” Her words are true. I like to keep her quote in mind. It also reminds me of the lyrics to another song, “I hope you dance” by country singer Lee Ann Womack. Part of the song says, “who wants to look back on their years and wonder where they’ve gone?” I find inspiration from this song. My grandmother called it “the baby song” because the music video may have had a baby or babies in it. My grandmother Carrie Phillips-Pettry passed away on June 1, 2003, just three short years after “I hope you dance” was released.

Yes, it is certain. We’re all going to pass away one day. Please note that my purpose in reminding you of this fact isn’t to depress anyone or to make them feel down. It is to remind myself and all of us that life is precious, that we have a lot to be grateful for and we have the opportunity to do so many things. I was once listening to an audio program or an inspirational DVD. It was by one of the success gururs like Mark Victor Hansen or Bob Proctor. I’m not sure who said it, but I remember this. The graveyard is a place with more than buried bodies. It is a place where many dreams were never lived out or fulfilled. It is a place where unwritten screenplays, books, inventions, were never completed. How sad it is to pass away without leaving some mark on the world or without leaving it a better place.

My advice: live life to the fullest. I often find myself getting behind on cleaning and organizing. I spend more time creating and making things and sometimes get disorganized from time to time. Today I organized because I don’t want to end up being on a show like TLC Hoarders. Please laugh aloud at that comment. I’m not that bad. But I did throw away a lot of newspapers and magazines.

I had a stack of birthday cards for my 30th birthday that was on March 26th of this year. I didn’t want to throw them away because they remind me of good times, but I didn’t want to keep them either. So, I decided to take note of them here in my blog.

Card # 1: “I’m smiling because you’re my brother … and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Happy Birthday.” Love, Carrie [Pettry] and Matt [her boyfriend.”

Card # 2: “Blah.. It’s your birthday and there’s nothing you can do about it…except celebrate. Have a Great Day!” Picture of Charlie Brown and Snoopy on cover. “We hope you have a great birthday, Danny! Love, Jimmy [brother] and Emily [sister-in-law]. It was obvious that Emily had written this and Jimmy had only signed his name in the card. My sister-in-law, Emily has nice handwriting. Jimbo has always had distinctive handwriting.

Card # 3: “If I had an uncle like you… They’d all be doing the “happy dance, too! Have a Great Birthday.” Picture of Snoopy and Woodstock dancing on cover. “you’re an awesome uncle!” Love, Gage [nephew 3-years-old]. The handwriting was obviously Emily again.

Card # 4: “Good nephew, good heart, good life, good luck, good feelings, good guy, good days. With a nephew like you, it’s all good. Happy Birthday.” Just blue and green colors on card. “We wouldn’t miss the opportunity to let you know we’re thinking of you and wishing you a ‘happy birthday!’” Love Aunt Sonya and Gilber, too. Good, good, good was printed at the bottom of the card.

Card # 5: “For a son who means so much. Because it’s your birthday, it’s the perfect time to celebrate the good man you are. Right from the start, you’ve been the kind of son that every parent dreams of having [Did they read this card? Laugh aloud]. And it’s been such a joy watching you grow and change to become the man you are. A son like you deserves happiness, not only on his birthday, but every day of the year and that’s exactly what you’re wished – with love. Happy Birthday.” Golden card. Picture of bird on cover. It is in gold print, too. Maybe a sparrow, Robin, or Cardinal. “Danny, We hope you have a great day. We love you very much. Love you, Mom and Dad.” Written in mom’s hand-writing. Hmm.. all the cards were written by females.

Cleaned out my car, too. Guess what? It had birthday cards that had been sitting in the back seat since March from co-workers and friends. Going to read them here in a minute, but only wanted to share these five cards above.

I’m 30 this year. Fifteen years ago, I was 15-years-old. In 15 more years, I’ll be 45-years-old.

What are some long-term goals? What do I want in 5, 10, 15 years? That will be 2015, 2020, and 2025. Wow, that is the future and it will probably fly by just like these last 15 years. Is it time to start re-thinking life, goals, and mission. Maybe.

I know one thing is certain. I’m going to complete a book that I’m writing before the end of this year. It is a book on being a nicer person. I’ve completed 7 out of the 12 chapters at this time. Four more chapters to go!

Do You Want to Read a Self-Improvement Book That Will Change Your Life? If so, check out the book I've written, "Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom." Maybe you should read a good self-improvement book now. It's never too late until it is too late.

Recently,

My mentor Dr. David Austin had said this about my book:

Dr. Carson - inspiration and motivation.

Dr. Ben Carson is a professor at John Hopkins and a neurosurgeon.

He is known for his amazing work separating conjoined twins Julan and Joseph Gibson in Africa. They were joined at the head. Neither of the boys had any brain damage. This was a major success because it was the first time this type of surgery had been completed successfully.

You may be interested in watching, “Gifted Hands,” a movie about Dr. Ben Caron. Cuba Gooding Jr. plays Dr. Caron. It is one of my favorite movies.

Here are some resources that you may enjoy:

I had the privilege to listen to Dr. Carson speak at the Leadership Training Program on May 7, 2010 that was sponsored by Chick-fil-A.

Here is a summary of some of the wisdom that I discovered from Dr. Caron’s inspirational talk:

Dr. Carson asked:

What am I really good at?

He gave a disclaimer that his intention is not to offend anyone during the session. He says it like it is. I found him humorous at times.

He said he liked working with kids a lot more because he had a greater return. The kid could go on maybe 50 years of good health because of a surgery. An elder person may die a few years later from something different. He said he was joking and of course, he cares about people who are elder, too.

Caron says that we need to be civil with people who we disagree with.

Caron said that his mother never developed a victim mentality despite having had a rough life. Caron said that she didn’t put up with his excuses either.

Start to look for reason to do something and have some responsibility in life.

Caron admired students who did well when he was in elementary school.

Dr. Caron’s mother would not allow him to watch television, but to read two books a week from the library and submit a book report to her.

AS a reminder, in my book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom, I suggest that the number one way for becoming great and successful in life is by becoming an avid reader.

Dr. Carson said that after a few weeks he started to enjoy books because he could go so many places. ?he began to know things that no one else knew. He went from the bottom of his class to the top.

Guess what He had the same brain when doing poor as he did when he did well. All he did was to change his self-concept.

The brain is very powerful. You can believe Dr. Carson since he is a neurosurgeon. It is amazing what you could really put your mind to doing.

Carson pointed out in the 90s the United States ranked 21 out of 22 countries in math. This isn’t good because we’re in the technology age.

Danny Pettry’s comment: This reminds me of someone else who asked, what is your favorite sports team? How would you feel if they were ranked 21 out of 22? What would you want to take place? Naturally, you’d want your team to improve.

How can The U.S. improve? Every great empire in the past has had their time and they have fallen. The British Empire, The Roman Empire, the Greek Empire have all risen and fallen from greatness.

Can we, the United States be the first nation to take action and prevent ourselves from falling? We don’t want to be the next Brittan, France, Rome, or Egypt. We want to continue to be the best and to be on top. How can we do that when we’re ranking 21 out of 22? Education is important.

Dr. Carson said that the writings of George Washington and our founding fathers showed great faith.

During WWII nations were falling to tyrant powers. All of them fell except the U.S. and we fought wars on two fronts.

Innovation makes the United States unique.

Dr. Carson and his wife have a scholarship program that starts to recognize 4th graders who have humanitarian interest and academic success.

Two tips:

Develop your brain
Care about other people

What will you be doing in 20 years? The year will be 2020. Time flies.

Dr. Carson said that he had chosen to go to John Hopkins to study because it was the best for preparing neurosurgeons.

Danny Pettry’s comment: I had chosen to go to Indiana University to purse my graduate degree in Recreational Therapy because I felt they had the best program for preparing Recreational Therapists. I admired Dr. David Austin who was over the program. Austin had written many of the text books that I had read during undergraduate school at Marshall University (Huntington, West Virginia). Both of my degrees are in recreational therapy.

Dr. Carson said that no knowledge is irrelevant because you’ll never know when it is needed. Carson also said take it from a neurosurgeon; you can’t overload your brain.

Dr. Carson said to think of win-win situations. Make it work for everyone. He talked about working during the summer breaks when he wasn’t at Yale. He worked as a supervisor for a crew that collected trash along the main roads. The workers weren’t motivated to work. Caron had a few tips. He encouraged them to show up earlier when it was still dark outside because it was cooler. He also said that he’d let them leave early if they got the required quota of bags of trash and he still paid them for the full day. He said they increased their productivity and started collecting a lot more trash to get the job completed.

Dr. Carson pointed out that the twins he separated will be graduating 6th-grade in a few weeks. As a reminder, they were the first set of twins joined at the head who were successfully separated.

Dr. Carson pointed out to:

Love our fellow man.
Care about our neighbor.

Develop our talents to our best and help others people.

Have strong principles and values.

Be the one.

It isn’t about me. It is about helping.
Be the bridge builder.

Be the one to make the difference and to serve others.


Want to discover wisdom and secrets on becoming great?

In my book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom, I outline a system, a plan that is used to help you to become successful and great in life.

Check it out here:

Steve Uzzell - inspiration and motivation.

Steve Uzzell is an award-winning photographer who I find inspirational and amazing. I had the opportunity to listen to him speak at the leadership training on May 7, 2010 that sponsored by Chick-fil-A. Uzell showed his photography on a large screen in the background during his inspirational talk.

I wish I had permission to show some of his amazing art at my blog, but regret to say that I don’t have permissions.

However, here is a link to his web-site:
http://www.steveuzzell.com
You may want to add his link to your favorites.

Here are some of the inspirational tips that I received from Uzzell during his talk:

The first step is to know where you’re going.
Find spirit and inspiration in the open road.

Allow for imagination.

Seeking sets in motion the conscious universe. It reminds me, Danny Pettry, of the quote: seek and you shall find.

He says a person needs to make preparations for creative problem-solving.

Uzzell said that every road also has the wrong roads.

Danny Pettry comment: stories go so good with pictures. I think I’ll add more pictures to my upcoming book on being a nicer person.

Uzzell points out famous quote: chance favors the prepared mind. He sited the original author, but I couldn’t understand the name. I had used the same quote in my book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom. I sited hearing it from my professor in graduate school.

Uzzell pointed out that our eyes only see what we’re prepared to see.

Danny Pettry comment: I had once heard that the Native Americans would look out into the ocean, yet they would not see the ships from European sailors because they were not prepared to see it.

Uzzell points out that chance and preparation creates magic.

Uzzell reminds us to focus on the 6 questions: who, what, where, when, why, and how of journalism for creative problem solving. Uzzell adds a 7th question: are you sure?

Become known for the problems you solve.

Solutions are sometimes found in odd places and unexpected places. Uzzell points out how his grandmother had helped him in math. He didn’t realize that his grandmother had had a degree in math from 1900. I, Danny Pettry, had forgotten what type of math degree she had, but it was very advanced.

Teach people a craft that you know so well. Change lives.

Each of us has a unique knowledge and talent and skills. Some of us have secret wisdom that no one else in the world knows about. Share this with others.

Uzzell also reminds me to thank teachers who have taught me to have a love for learning.

Danny Pettry: send a thank-you card and a brief message to several of your favorite teachers.

Here are some of the final tips from Uzzell:

Listen to your inner voice.
Joy is a journey
Look for inspirational and connect to the universe.

He quoted Merlin, we must put ourselves in that path of God to connect.
Feel blessed and grateful.
The universe is full of abundance.

We are homosapians. That means: wise people.

There will be the age of knowledge and the age of wisdom.

Be the one.

Want to discover wisdom and secrets on becoming great?

In my book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom, I outline a system, a plan that is used to help you to become successful and great in life.

Check it out here:

Leadership Guru John Maxwell on Leadership

John Maxwell is a best-selling leadership author. I, Danny Pettry have always enjoyed his books. I had the fortunate opportunity to hear Maxwell speak for the first time at the Leadership Training that was sponsored by Chick-fil-A on May 7, 2010.

Here is a link for Maxwell’s newest book, which is on my personal list of books to read:




I found Maxwell to be humorous, motivational, and easy to listen to. I like him a lot more after hearing him speak. Prior to this event, I had never heard him talk. He walked out in a nice business suite with bright red tennis shoes. They were funny. He may start some type of trend with this.

Here is my summary of Maxwell’s tips and wisdom that he shared during his talk.

Let your kids live.

Everyone communicates.
Few people connect.

Here is how Maxwell defines connecting:

It is the ability to identify with and realize with people so that it increase influence with them.

He suggested using social networks like twitter to influence people. Here is his twitter link: http://twitter.com/johncmaxwell

He posted chapters for his book on connecting with people online and let them give suggestions. He gave them credit in his book.

Connections are all about other people. It is not about us, but others.

Maxwell told of a time when he went to listen to a Zig Ziglar speech. He said Zig looked right at him in the audience and said his famous quote:

If you help others get what they want then they’ll help you get what you want.

Leaders connect with people. Leaders bring people to the top with them.

Here is the quote you want to hear:

You’ve done so much for us. Now, what can I do for you?

It’s not about me. It is about them. How can I add value to people?

He uses dating and marriage as a metaphor.

People put in energy during dating. During marriage they have a power outage.

During dating, she’ll say, honey, will you pick up something for me. He’ll say, sure, I’ll do that on my lunch break. During marriage, she says she forgot to pick something up and asks if he’ll get it for her. Then he says something rude: you’ve got arms, right?

Connecting with people takes a lot of energy. A person must continue to put fourth energy to connect with people.

Stories make it fun! A story is a good way to get people interested.

Maxwell asks an important question:

Who do I need to put more effort in order to connect with them?

Find common ground with people. Focus on the similarities and not the differences.

Maxwell said that he has techniques to help get people from common ground to higher ground in his new book on connections.

Here are some techniques:

Walk slowly through the crowd.
Care for people
Be open.

He says to go out and increase my influence with others by connecting with them.

I think, I, Danny Pettry, would love his new book.



Want to discover wisdom and secrets on becoming great?

In my book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom, I outline a system, a plan that is used to help you to become successful and great in life.

Check it out here:

Collins interview with two business gurus.

Best-selling leadership author, Jim Collins interviewed two successful business leaders at the leadership training program that was sponsored by Chick-fil-A. I had the fortunate privilege of attending this live interview.

Collins had interviewed Ed Bastian, the President of Delta Airlines and Jim Goodnight the Chief Executive Officer of SAS Institute on the same stage.

Here is a brief summery of the secret wisdom and knowledge that I had learned from Collins interview with these two success gurus.

Ed Bastian said that it is important to re-connect with people. There is an important sign at Delta that was posted on the wall by the founder of the organization:

If you take care of your employees they’ll take care of the customers. We’re all in this together.

Goodnight was asked why it is important to make a great place to work. He said great people doing great things equals great results. Goodnight suggested supplying free coffee as a benefit.

He suggested having people work 35 hours a week. This includes 7-hour workdays. And being flexible with schedules. This provides a productive work environment.

He said that people who work beyond 5:00 p.m. and over 80 hours a week are mush and they make mistakes.

Danny Pettry comment: I work 40-hours a week as a recreational therapist. I enjoy this work. I don’t volunteer to work much beyond 40 hours a week. However, I do spend my own time off the clock working. I operate my own business during this time, which I enjoy. I write books during this time. These things could seem like work to many people. However, I enjoy doing these things and don’t think that I am creating mush.

Goodnight also suggested treating people differently. He said that the knowledge worker is a lot different from the factory worker. He says to focus on the worker.

Bastian had an interesting question regarding keeping business alive. He asked, what would be lost if we closed because it would take something valuable from people.

Danny Pettry comment: Bastian had once worked for Pepsi Cola. I had read somewhere where they talked him into leaving Pepsi by asking a question. Do you want to continue selling sugar water or do you want to make a difference in people’s lives. I’m not sure the exactness on the quote or what reference it came from. I do believe it was on motivation and getting people to change.

Bastian pointed out that there are more things in our control versus the things outside of our control. He said to keep an open mindset. He believes that people often underestimate the control they have.

Goodnight was asked how people can perform well with uncertain and unseen things.

He said that customers need us more. We must understand their problems [and needs].

Goodnight also suggested to work outside of business to increase ability as a leader.

Danny Pettry’s comment: People could go beyond their jobs and volunteer to help others.

Goodnight suggests keeping kids in school and getting them interested in school. We as a nation need to get kids interested in school. We need to teach them to love learning.

Danny Pettry’s comment, in my self-improvement book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom, I suggest reading as the number one way to discover wisdom and secrets, but people need to become avid readers in order to find this wisdom.

Goodnight points out that there is a lot of new technology with drugs, computers, and research. He pointed out that the U.S. people are not interested in learning these days. There is more innovation coming from Asia. The year 2009 was the first year that more U.S. patons were given to people outside of the U.S. We, in the United States need to step it up a notch and do a better job with education.

Today’s kids are growing up in a world of technology. They get bored from lecture and non-interaction in classrooms. They need laptops and technology. This could decrease drop-out rates.

He pointed out that math and reading scores increase with technology use in the classroom.

Bastian said education is a responsibility of a good company. He says that good companies do good things.

Bastian also pointed out that joy and appreciation in life is need. Be mindful. Appreciate things. Focus on right things and priorities in life. He says that a business that helps a charity is a team-building approach.

Bastian said that best leaders don’t motivate. They hire motivated people and self-directed people. They do their best to provide an environment that doesn’t de-motivate.

Collins asked what would de-motivate people?

Pay cuts could.

He says that people should focus on the job they do have. That is most important right now. Don’t focus on the next job that a person doesn’t have yet. Do the best at the job you currently have and it will help a person to prepare for their next job.

Goodnight talked about putting a lot of art in the hallways to motivate people.

Collins, the interviewer reflected on having gratitude for mentors.

People should have their own personal and professional board of directors. These are people who you could turn to for advice. Have people who for personal and professional help.

Danny Pettry’s comment. I’m going to create my own board of directors. Basically, I’ll just email people and ask if they’d be willing to help. I’ll create a link at my DannyPettry.com web-page to list my personal board of directors. Of course, I’ll have my father, Danny Pettry (senior) on my team. For professional advice as a recreational therapist, I’ll include: Dr. David Austin and Charlie Dixon for sure. I’ll also ask a few other recreational therapists and educators who I respect. I’ll add people for financial advice, spiritual advice, and leisure/ hobbies, and many more. I think this will be a fun task. I encourage you to create your own board of directors. Basically, this is your super social support system

Here are some more tips from the session:

Hire people smarter than you to create greatness around me.

What is the best way to repay our mentors, teachers, and educators?

Pay it forward. Give back. Provide a service to the next generation.
Danny Pettry: This encourages me to do my best as a recreational therapist working with youth, to maybe volunteer to help educate youth at risk or from low-income, and to write more books that will help inspire others. I’d also like to donate more money to a charity.

Want to discover wisdom and secrets on becoming great?

In my book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom, I outline a system, a plan that is used to help you to become successful and great in life.

Check it out here:

Wisdom: What Should You Post Online.

How to find out what is said about you online is presented at the bottom of this article.

I share tons of wisdom for being successful in life in my best-selling book “Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom,” but, you must read the book to discover the hidden secrets for success.

Today, I want to give you some FREE Tips and Wisdom about using the Internet to be successful.

First -- It is important to play it safe online. Be smart. Don’t post anything you may regret.

In example:

If you’re mad wait a day before you send an email or post comments on any of the social networking sites: twitter, facebook, myspace, blogspot, ning, youtube, tumbr, and many more. Once that email is sent or that post is posted it is there.

But realize that these sites can be very beneficial to your professional success.

Here is an example:

You already know that these online sites are wonderful for networking. They can help you catch up with old friends and make new friends.

Plus -- They can even help you to find a perfect job and so much more. I use these sites to promote my profession and have received many personal emails of thanks from people.


Here are some examples of praise I’ve received that show how social networks can be beneficial for professionals:

• Hi Danny! What a great idea to have this [myspace] page! How in the world do you
  find the time to seek out other rec therapists? It’s great! (2006).



• I love the passion. [commenting on rec therapy myspace page
  (2006).



• Excited about your [myspace] site [for recreational therapists] – you rock. (2006)



• Thanks so much for your support!!! I appreciate it! [after posting info. for a rec therapist]



• Once a woman replied how I helped her find the perfect job for her. She thanked me and said that had it not been for my myspace for RTs that she'd never have discovered the job. Regret to say that I can't find her email right now.

Of course, all of these were from myspace. Based on my personal experiences many people aren't using myspace now. They're on facebook. Some have even left facebook for Twitter, which seems to be the new thing for many. Expect there will be something new in the future, too. The net is always changing.

Advice and Tips for Online:

• Check your privacy settings on your personal social sites. See who can view them. Make changes to protect your privacy.



• Google yourself and see what results come up. Was listening to the local Magic 97.9 Radio (Huntington, West Virginia) on my way to work one day. D.J. – J.B. Miller said that he googled himself online one day and discovered pictures from the 80s that he didn’t remember. They were pictures of him painting that were taken for an article in a magazine or newspaper back in the 80s. Google yourself and see what results show up. Have read that some employers will google a person before interviewing them. Make sure the results are good. If not, work at getting sites changed.



• Also go to LinkedIn. You can create an account there. However, I noticed that LinkedIn had already posted information about me before I started an account. Somehow their site had obtained knowledge about me and posted it. You can create an account and make changes.

What Does The Net Say About You?

• Finally, my friend Nancy M. from Minnesota posted about an interesting site called Spokeo.com. I’d rather call it Spooky-dot-com. It reveals a lot of information. My friend Nancy said, “I realize my hubby needed to change security settings on his facebook and delete his myspace. Also, you can go to the privacy button at the bottom of the spokeo.com page and choose to have your information removed from that site, too.
  
  

Hope you enjoyed this free wisdom for being safe online.

As a reminder, if you want to discover more hidden wisdom and secrets on success then I highly recommend that you check out my book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom: A Recreational Therapist’s System on How You Can Become Great at Anything!

Picture source: free computer clipart.

Gandhi is my hero.

~~~ Click here for Gandhi Stuff ~~~

Recently read the new book "The Leader Who Had No Title." It was fable on leadership and lessons for life by Robin Sharma.

The lessons and concepts reminded me of a real life leader who had no title.
He was Gandhi.

Gandhi lived most of his life without a title. He stood for many things, including: freedom, nonviolence, peace, truth, and overall goodness. When he died in 1948, he didn't have a fancy title. He didn't have riches or property. He wasn't the owner of a large company. He wasn't a ruler of a nation or armies. He was a leader with no title.

I once had my full name with all my titles listed at the bottom of my emails at work. I'm going to post it here for an example:

Danny W. Pettry, II, MS, CTRS, Recreational Therapist (for the blank and blank programs) at such and such hospital in a Wonderful State, USA.

Laugh aloud.

I changed the settings for my email. Now it only says:

your friend,
Danny

Think this is better. I have been trying to lead without a title.
I don't need to be the CEU of the hospital or the Director of whatever.

I can be a real leader in my own position. using the principles from Robin's book.


Recently, I rewatched the Gandhi film, which always inspires me.



~~~ Click here for Gandhi Stuff ~~~

Dr. Jeanine's "5 Ways to get in touch with your souls wisdom.

Dr. Jeanine is a life coach for women around the world.

Yes, I am a man, but as an idealist/healer, I enjoy the information she posts in her blogs.
Think you might enjoy checking it out, too.

You may want to follow Dr. Jeanine's blog or youtube channel.

She has an article on 5 ways to get in touch with your souls wisdom here:

http://simplydivinesolutions.com/blog/5-ways-to-get-in-touch-with-your-souls-wisdom

Here is your YouTube Channel:



http://www.youtube.com/DrJeanine

Beckley, WV -- Obama pays tribute to fallen miners.

Here is some wisdom for life... Life is short. make the best of it.

Today, President Obama paid tribute to the fallen miners in my hometown, Beckley, West Virginia earlier today.

Appreciate Obama’s kind words for the miners and their families. Found his speech to be very inspirational and uplifting.

Obama addressed many issues related to West Virginia.

Coal keeps the lights on.
Miners work to support their families.
Hold mining companies accountable.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/04/25/west.virginia.mine.obama/index.html?hpt=T2

Review of Robin Sharma's "The Leader Who Had No Title."

Want to recommend a highly inspirational and motivating book.

It’s called, “The Leader Who Had No Title.” It's a fable on success in business and in life.

Briefly, the story is about a man named Blake who had been a soldier who had fought for U.S. freedom over in Ira. Blake has returned to the U.S. and works at a bookstore. Blake isn’t happy with his life.

Fortunately, Blake meets an elder man named Tommy who works at the bookstore. Tommy is very successful in both life and business. Tommy becomes Blake’s personal mentor for one day.

Tommy introduces Blake to four people who believe in the “Lead Without a Title” (LWT) philosophy. Each of these four people shares a valuable lesson for Tommy. The lessons are easy to remember because they’re all acronyms.

This story isn’t just on being a leader in the business world. It’s more of a book on becoming a better person. It focuses on self-development, being your best, living a meaningful life and leaving behind a legacy.

While Tommy is teaching Blake, I felt like I was in Tommy’s shoes getting all the wisdom from Blake myself. It encouraged me to act and behave in different ways while I was at my job. The book directly encouraged me to be more of a real leader.

Here is a quick video review of the book for your entertainment:



Here is an Amazon link for the book so you can check out more information on it.



Click Here for a List of Books by Robin Sharma.


Believe wisdom is hidden in books, but you must be an avid reader to discover their secrets. If you’re interested in more wisdom on becoming your greatest and being self-fulfilled in life then I highly recommend for you to check out my book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom: A Recreational Therapist’s System on How You Can Become Great at Anything!

Time Travel Possibilities?

Some scientists at the University of California believe time travel is possible.

Wow. That is all I can say.

An article by John Brandon with Fox News was posted about these scientists on April 5, 2010.

I can’t explain how time travel is possible, but these scientists believe it is. And I have faith in their work.

I don’t need to know how electricity works in order to use it. As long as there is somebody alive who knows how to generate and produce it and make certain that our lights work and computers work. That is all I need.

My mind and time is limited. My mind can’t know everything there is to know in the world. My time on Earth is limited, too. I don’t have time to learn everything either.

I must make wise choices in how I use my time and what I learn.

The Quantum physicist Fred Alan Wolf is cited in the article. Enjoy hearing him talk. Wolf is featured in the hit underground documentaries The Secret and What the Bleep Do We Know and Further Down the Rabbit’s Hole.

Doc Brown from the movie, “Back to the Future” exists and his name is Fred Alan Wolf.

A cartoonish picture of Fred Wolf is featured on the cover of this book:



However, here is the book on time travel that you’ll want to read:




Source:
Brandon, J. (2010, April 5). Freaky physics proves parallel universes. Fox News. Article retrieved April 6, 2010 from: http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/04/05/freaky-physics-proves-parallel-universes/?test=faces


Here are some more books and DVDs that you may be interested in knowing about:

Have you read Scott Blum's "Summer Path?"

Believe great wisdom can be found in books.

As you’ll recall from my best-selling book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom: A Recreational Therapist’s System on How You Can Become Great, I said: “read a book a week."

My recommendation for the week is...

Scott Blum’s Summer’s Path.

This book was originally a best-selling electronic book.
It is NOW available in an expanded-edition hardcover.

I’ve already got my copy of the book as shown in the picture below. I put it on the book shelf in my home-office for this picture.

[regret to say the picture won't upload tonight]


Here is a brief preview of the book:

Summer’s Path presents the remarkable story of Don Newport, an engineer who comes face-to-face with his personal destiny under extraordinary circumstances. After losing his job and his health insurance, Don learns that he has a terminal disease, with only a few months left to live. On his deathbed, he meets Robert, a brazen angel of death who promises to help him with a graceful exit.

As Don prepares to say his last goodbyes to his loving wife, Robert attempts to change Don’s perspective about his mortality and proposes an exceptionally unique option.

Robert leads Don through an astounding meditation of life and death and reveals various healing and spiritual concepts, including walk-ins, embodiment, and soul destiny. On this magical journey of self-realization, Don discovers that it’s never too late to learn profound life lessons about ourselves and our loved ones.

Summer’s Path is the prequel to the best-selling book Waiting for Autumn. I've not read Waiting for Autumn yet. Glad to know that Summer's Path was the prequel so I can read Waiting for Autumn next! It had been on my list of books to read for a while.

I, Danny Pettry, consider myself to be a “Teacher-Healer.” There are many concepts from Blum’s new book that I find fascinating as a teacher-healer. These include:

Healing and spiritual concepts
Animal communications
Soul destiny
Magical journey
Self-relaxation
Lessons for life

This book is chockfull of wisdom. Think you’d be wise to read this book.

You can get it on Amazon here:



Here is a link for his first book, Waiting for Autumn:

Leadership Lessons

There's an extraordinary new book that has just been published, one that will show you exactly how the billionaires/superstars and geniuses of our world get the results that they get. An international bestseller within days of its release, "The Leader Who Had No Title: A Modern Fable on Real Success in Business and in Life" (Simon & Schuster) is the game-changing book by top leadership expert Robin Sharma, who's books have transformed the lives of millions of people worldwide.

Here is a picture of my copy of the book. It is on my home-office desk beside my plants.

For the first time, Robin shares the proprietary success formula that he's shared with his billionaire coaching clients and companies like NIKE, FedEx, IBM, Microsoft and GE.

In "The Leader Who Had No Title", you'll discover exactly how to awaken your inner leader, play at wow in all you do, unleash massive amounts of excellence and productivity, get to world-class in your work, build an unbeatable mindset and really win in these turbulent times. This book will blow the doors off your past ways of thinking, performing and being.

Listen to what people are saying (or read what they're saying)...

"If you want to operate at the level of WOW, be an exceptional leader and live full out-buy this book."
- Darren Hardy, publisher, SUCCESS magazine

"The Leader Who Had No Title is a game-changing book...get ready for an AMAZING new life!" - Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author of "Happy for No Reason"

Here is a must-see YouTube Video:





Here is the link: http://theleaderwhohadnotitle.com/ <---

I, Danny Pettry, am one of the gift sponsors for this amazing book along with many other big names, including: Bob Proctor and John Gray. See all of the gift sponsors here:

http://theleaderwhohadnotitle.com/

Or you can get it at Amazon here:





Don't forget these

two amazing books by

Robin Sharma, too:





Danny Pettry is recreational therapist,

self-improvement blogger and the author of

Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom:

A Recreational Therapist's System

How YOU Can Become Great at Anything!

Movie Rental Stores Are Going Obsolete.

Felt upset that the Movie Gallery in my hometown area went out of business last year.
Since then three local Blockbusters have went out of business. These included: South Point, Ohio, downtown Huntington, W.Va. and Rt. 60 in Huntington.

Went to the Movie Gallery in Kentucky, which is right across the Big Sandy River in the Huntington, W.Va. area.

Told the manager that I was shocked that nobody was in there on a Friday night. There were no customers. The manager laughed and said the store was having a good night because they brought in $600 in sales for the night. Felt shocked at comment because I’d imagine a store like that should be making about $600 an hour.

Returned today to find giant, bright “Closing Soon” signs… Everything must go.

This is very disappointing because I love movie rental stores.

However, I realize that it is a tough business. People can rent movies from their home now with technology. They can use netflix and have videos sent to their home, which I imagine netflix may be the next to go.

People can buy DVDs at Wal-mart for $5 in the large bin. Some of these movies are fairly new based on my experiences. Some of these movies were released within the last year or two.

Purchased a few classic, rare DVDs that were on sale there. These included: To kill a mocking bird, Gandhi, teacher Ron Clark Story, one on the Reagans, and Uptown Girls. As you'll remember from my best-selling book, Discover Hidden Secret Wisdom, I recommend Cinema-therapy/ watching movies to learn ways to become great. Think there are some good lessons from these movies and they're worth watching again.

Didn’t need any DVDs, but felt an urge to spend today when I should have saved.

Maybe I would have been one of the children who would have eaten one marshmallow now instead of waiting for two marshmallows later. Will work on patience.

Worried about the employees at this Movie Gallery. These feelings intensified when I logged online to find a story that Blockbuster may file bankruptcy. The end of the “Blockbuster-era” is near. I absolutely love my job and what I do to help children. I’d be devastated if something happened to our hospital or facility or if I were laid-off or fired for any reason.

Change is inventible. Things will be different in the future. My professor in graduate school, Dr. Bryan McCormick had once said, “Luck favors the prepared.” Highly encourage people to prepare today.

Dr. Raymond Busbee was one of the professors who I had during undergraduate school at Marshall University in Huntington, West Virginia. Dr. Busbee was the academic advisor for students in Parks Resources and Leisure Services with a focus in Park Management. Remember Dr. Busbee once telling students (approximate year 2000) that the United States Postal Service might not be a good career choice for students after graduation. I scoffed at this idea at first because I had grown-up hearing that government jobs had great benefits. Dr. Busbee informed students that there was a growing use of digital communications through email. He said that there would be less mail in the future. He was right. As you already know there are rumors that the U.S. Postal Service is going to stop delivering mail on Saturdays. This may seem like a minor move to save money, but I’m certain that many positions will be cut in this process.

I pay over 95% of my bills online today. Most days I don’t receive any mail at all. Occasionally I’ll order a book from Amazon and will have a package at my door. However, I’ll be ordering fewer hardcover and paperback books now that I have an Amazon kindle and will be able to download books wirelessly and instantly anytime I want. Again, that may not be a good thing for people who crave instant gratification. Have set a limit to only 2-3 digital books per month.

Morales: Prepare for the future. Save money.

Source:

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/109097/bankruptcy-is-blockbusters-only-hope

Placebo treatment: is it effective?

Placebo therapy is effective. Read an article on CNN health that showed people with mild-level of depression showed some positive outcomes from being on a placebo pill.

Questions were raised about the effectiveness of the medication treatment. That’s not what I’m concerned about here.

Power of the mind is my concern. The human mind is amazing. William James, one of the founders of psychology had said that humans only use about 10% of their brain. Our brains are way more powerful than we realize.

Placebo is the positive outcome of a treatment because the individual thinks it is working. It has other names. In psychology, it is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. A person thinks something is true and they create that reality.

If you think you can then you’re more likely to try to do it. As a result of trying your chances of succeeding increase by 100% compared to not trying. So, you’re more than likely to make it happen. On the other hand, if you think you can’t do something, you’ll never try it. Why try if you’ll fail anyway. As a result, you create your own self-fulfilling prophecy that you couldn’t succeed at something.

Placebo is the same. It is all in the mind. The person thinks the drug is working so they start to “act happy.” By acting happier they feel happier by smiling more or doing activities they enjoy more. Studies show that smiling can release chemicals in the body that produce “good-feelings.” Doing activities a person enjoys can produce good-feelings, too. People who participate in social activities will spend more time with family and/ or friends and have a sense of support, too.

Please note that I’m not saying a person shouldn’t take their medications. Don’t stop taking them if you’re on them. However, as a recreational therapist, I do want to point out the power of the mind and human thinking.

Here is the link to the CNN article:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/01/06/mild.depression.antidepressants/index.html

Success Principles Book Review.

A Review of Jack Canfield (2006) The Success Principles [DVD]
First posted Dec. 20, 2006 at Danny's myspace blog

Speaker: Jack Canfield , Producer: Better Life Media (2006) The Success Principles: Seven Steps to accelerate your life from where you are to where you want to be. [DVD].

The big question to ask yourself is: "If you could do anything you love; what would you do?" Then decide, what would it take to get your life to the next level? (Jack Canfield , 2006)



Success is the combination to a lock. It requires a certain combination to get the right result. It requires a system of doing things a certain way.


You must apply this system to get results and not just read them or listen to them.

The truth of the matter is that you can have, do, or be anything you want if you follow these principles. (Jack Canfield , 2006)


"You can't hire others to do your push-ups for you." Jim R.



You are responsible for your own healthcare, medication, exercises, education, and well-being.


You must take 100% of responsibility for all areas in your life. This requires you to give up: blaming, complaining, excuse-making, and whining. (Jack Canfield , 2006)


Here is the combination you must need to know in order to be successful:


[E + R = O] which means Event plus YOUR response equals Outcome. If you don't like the outcome – then change your response. You can't change the event.



This does not mean that every response that you try will work. Maybe your response will work and maybe it won't. You've got to keep trying responses until you get it right.


If you don't like your current situation – or your current outcome, then change your responses. Do not continue to make the same responses, which have gotten you to where you are today. (Jack Canfield , 2006)



If a response does not work – then throw it out. Many people do not try for success because trying new responses is uncomfortable. They would rather stay comfortable than to change and to do what is requires of them to be successful.

We can't change events. They have already occurred. We can change these personal responses: our behaviors, thoughts, and images that we hold in our minds.



Thoughts are very powerful.


Kinesiology studies have proven that our physiology weakens when we mentally tell ourselves "lies or I can't or if we focus on past failures or if we are surrounded by judgmental, critical people." It is important for all of us to eliminate "I can't, I wish, and I'll try" from our vocabulary.
Instead, we should focus on "I can and I'll find a way, focus on past successes and achievements, view past errors as learning experiences opposed to seeing them as failures, and to surround ourselves with people
who are successful in areas that we want to become more successful.



Henry Ford said "Rather you think you can or think you can't – either way you are right." We must eliminate all excuses. Focus on solutions opposed
to problems. (Jack Canfield , 2006)

One successful man without arms and legs was able to write a 200-page book with his stubs. A paralyzed woman was able to paint pictures for greeting cards by holding a paintbrush with her teeth. A boy without arms was able to pitch for team with a lacrosse stick attached to his stub. His team won the state championship. A man without legs was on the University of Georgia wrestling team.

If these people can be successful in their self-chosen areas, then what are our excuses? We must give all excuses up. "I can't" is a terrible attitude for anybody.

In order to be successful, we must have:


• A clear intention. Goals and a Vision.
• We must fully expect to get what we want to achieve
• We must take action – Take initiative.

We must have faith that the rest of the solution will be revealed to us at the right time. This is like driving a car from Virginia to California. We do not need to see the whole road to get there but just enough distance to see
the horizon. As we approach the horizon – more of the path will be shown to us. We must be persistent and not give-up just because we don't see the results we hoped for right away. We won't see the Golden Gate within minutes after leaving from Virginia on our path to California. It takes
persistence. (Jack Canfield , 2006)

We must hold our thoughts in our mind until it happens.



If you want it bad enough then you will do it.


We must drop out of the ain't it awful club. We must move out of Pity City. Even, we, adults need to remember this important lesson:

We are the average of the five people who we spend most of our time. Are those people positive people or negative people? Are they bankers,writers, doctors, or successful people? Birds of a feather flock together.



(Jack Canfield , 2006)


Decide what you want and your brain will plot the course for you like a GPS system. If you hold a vision of what you want then you will see more opportunities.

Groups of people were asked to read a paragraph and count the number of times they could find an "F" while reading the same paragraph for a second time within 30 seconds.

Most people found 3 of them when in fact there were 7 total Fs in the paragraph. By holding a vision – people tend
to notice more opportunities. A Group of people who were asked to focus on F's before the read the paragraph the first time were more likely to find 6 or 7 of them.



(Jack Canfield , 2006)



Walt Disney said "If you can dream it then you can achieve it."



Here are seven areas to set goals in order to have a well-balanced life:


1. Financial
2. Career
3. Leisure/ Recreation
4. Health / Fitness
5. Relationships
6. Personal Achievements
7. Contribution/ Charity/ Life Legacy


(Jack Canfield , 2006)


Only 10% of Americans write personal goals and objectives and fully carry them out. Also know this, only 10% of American controls 90% of the nation's wealth.

Write your goal on a note card. Read it and visualize it when you first wake-up and before you go to sleep. Keep a copy of it in your wallet. Keep your vision strong. Look at 5-6 years into your future. Your goal must be
detailed.

Fair goal: I want to lose weight.


Better detailed goal: I want to lose 15 lbs by March 30th at 8 a.m.


Read it and visualize it every day and you will begin to notice
opportunities to make this goal achievable.


Visualization alone is not enough.

A person must Act and take initiative.


Do five small things every day to make your goal a reality. If you were to write a book, write for 15 minutes a day, interview 1 person a day, etc. If one were to lose weight here are five small things to do in one day: walk 15 minutes a day, eat 1600 calorie diet, take the stairs at work, read about losing weight or health eating habits, or other different daily activities.


The law of probability claims that the more different things you try – the more likely that you will find a solution that will work. How far are you willing to go? How committed are you? How bad do you want what you really want? Just don't continue the same actions that do not get you the results you want.



(Jack Canfield , 2006)

Prepare yourself.



Do the work. Don't just dream.


Equally skilled Basketball players were split into 3 equal groups. Group A did not play ball for one month = and they had no improvement. Group B shot foul shouts for 2 hours per day and showed 34% improvement Group C visualized shooting foul shots for 2 hours per day and showed 32%
improvement.

Visualization is powerful. Imagine a group D that visualized for 2 hours per day and shot foul shots for 2 hours per day. I imagine they would have shown at least a 45% improvement


The 30-day principle claims that it takes 30 days to build a habit. If you stop for just one day after 15, it would still take another 25-30 days to rebuild the habit. This was proven by NASA experiment that had people wear goggles that reverses everything the saw upside down. Those who wore
it for the full 30 days developed new neuron pathways in order to see correctly, which NASA did not expect. The test was used to see how people could handle disillusion in space.

W. Churchill said: "Never, never give up."



We are never too old to start. A Woman won a 10K race at
the age of 83. She started practicing at the age of 55. She ran around her backyard once at age 55. Each day she added one extra lap.

Don't think about it – Just do it.



Remember that the best is still yet to come.

For more information, click this link:



Jack Canfield



I hope this information was helpful.



Danny P.

Recreation Therapy on Myspace

Huntington, West Virginia 25701

United States



P.S. I highly recommend using local, public library to rent a copy of Jack Canfield 's (2006) The Success Principles Book because it is free. If you really want to keep this book, which includes 64 principles on success, then I recommend purchasing it used from Amazon.Com to save money.

How to become REAL. (book review)

How to Become Real
Blog entry written March 2007.
Formerly posted at Danny's myspace blog.




A Review of:


D'Antonio, T. (2004) The Velveteen principles: a guide to becoming real. Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield, FL.


D'Antonio (2004) has written A Guide to Becoming Real based on Margery Williams classic children's story: The Velveteen Rabbit. Becoming authentic is a form of becoming self-actualized. Although based on a children's story, D'Antonio's summary of the principles to becoming real are for all ages: children, adolescents, adults and seniors.

One does not need to have read Margery William's The Velveteen Rabbit as a prerequisite to reading D'Antonio's (2004) The Velveteen Principles: A Guide to Becoming Rea. D'Antonio shares segments from The Velveteen Rabbit in order to help the reader understand.

D'Antonio (2004) identifies 12 principles on becoming real based on The Velveteen Rabbit. These principles include: a.) real is a possibility; b.) real is a process; c.) real is emotional; d.) real is empathetic; e.) real is courage; f.) real is honest; g.) real is generous; h.) real is grateful; i.) real can be painful; j.) real is flexible; k.) real love endures; and l.) real has a meaning. Each of D'Antonio's (2004) principles will be reviewed here.

1. Real is a Possibility

Real is possible. It requires being oneself, which can be difficult in a world that pressures us to conform, to buy the latest trend, to look a certain way, and buy a certain product. The media portrays an example of how we "should" be, but being real is about living in a way that we truly want to be. Real is especially possible during leisure pursuits when a person can express her true interest, i.e. poetry, painting, dance, or yoga. Values clarification would be an excellent way to help a person to decide what is "really" important to her.

2. Real is a Process

Real is a process that takes time. A person does not become real overnight. It takes becoming aware of your own values and slowly starting to live them. D'Antonio (2004) explains four parts of this process to keep in mind: a.) [Developing] close relationships make us feel more real; b.) Work that matters makes us feel more real; c.) Creativity and growth make us feel real; and d.) Teaching, nurturing and caring for others makes us feel real. None of these parts require having a certain gadget, product, widget, thingamajig, doohickey, or doodad. Buying all of these products to have a certain image is being unreal. Being real requires being patient and learning what is truly important in our lives.

3. Real is Emotional

A person must have emotional intelligence in order to be real. She cannot hide or ignore her true emotions. It is okay to feel sad, angry, or afraid. One does not need to be ashamed of their feelings. Our emotions serve us as a guiding system. Take time to indulge in your emotions: How do you really feel? One must be self-empathetic and empathetic towards others.

4. Real is Empathetic

An unreal person who puts on a front in order to make herself out to be "better" than other people has not learned to be empathetic. It requires understanding and respecting other people's feelings. D'Antonio points out a good lesson in empathy. She claims to look at the "Intent" opposed to the "Outcome." In example, if a good friend brings you flowers (that you are allergic to) when your sick had the intention of a caring gesture towards you. It is easier to be more empathetic towards the friend when one focuses on the intent opposed to the outcome: his actions caused an allergic re-action.

5. Real is Courage

Being real may not be easy. A person may feel like an outcast by not living and acting in social conformity. In example, if a woman has never danced before and she really want to be a dancer, and then she needs to have courage to do it. It would require her to feel awkward for not being the best the first time she tried. D'Antonio points out that one does not need to be the best at any activity in order to enjoy it. One does not need to win either. Develop courage by trying new experiences.

6. Real is Honest

A person cannot be real if she is not honest. It requires being honest about our own strengths and flaws. Nobody is perfect. A perfect cut diamond would be boring to look at after a long while. It requires being true to oneself.

7. Real is Generous

A real person helps other people. She gives of herself to help others. This does not mean just giving advice, but actually taking action. D'Antonio uses this example: a neighbor high school student is interested in college and comes to you for advice. Do not tell her to go to the library. Take her to the library and help her find information she needs.

D'Antonio claims that "winning" is not everything in life. Competition requires a person to use their best ability. Runners run faster in races opposed to being timed when running alone. A person who must win in order to feel real is really dependent on an object to feel real, which is a form of being unreal.

8. Real is Grateful

This requires being glad for the things one has in life and expressing thankfulness. Take time to be aware of all the good things in life. In example: getting a cup of coffee at McDonald's requires much work to be grateful for. The cashier took the money, another person probably brewed the coffee, a manager ordered the coffee when inventory was low, and a truck driver delivered the coffee. A farmer planted the beans. Another person roasted them and another person probably roasted them.

Advertisers attempt to make us feel bad about our current situation. They want us to buy new things in order to feel happy. D'Antonio explains that this will not work because every season will have new things, which is a constant cycle.

Some people feel they must buy a new car every year in order to fit in with society. They always have the newest model, color, and accessories for their car. Others are grateful for the car they have and they keep it for ten or more years. This allows them to have more money for what is really important in life: family and friends opposed to spending it on a car to feel good.

9. Real is Painful

Becoming real can be painful. It requires for many of us to sort of wake-up and realize one has not being living their life authentically. A person who is becoming real may realize they have been living a fake life and discover she is not really happy about the way things are going. This could be a reason many people go through a mid-life crisis. They have been working in a job they do not enjoy for years and feel like they need a change. D'Antonio suggests taking time to re-discover personal values by thinking back to childhood interests. It may be painful to realize how much you loved painting or playing ball or dancing, which you have not done for years. Realize what your interests are and do it.

10. Real is Flexible

An old motto claims that: A tree that does not bend with the wind will break. Major life changes cause pain: divorce, death, disability, disease, war, etc. Change is hard, but it must not break a person. A real person is flexible. They bend and adjust. Being real can be painful during a life change.

11. Real Love Endures

The New Testament explains that love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude, it does not require its own way. Real love takes time. Men who have a fascination with the young and beautiful is a form of being unreal because it treats young women as objects to possess opposed to being loved. Men who leave their wife for a younger face are not being real because these men believe they need a young attractive person in order to feel better, which is not true. I (Danny P.) am being real and honest when I admit that I desire beautiful women. Of course, I am single at this time and that is natural. On the other side of the coin, I would think a woman who is real is much more attractive opposed to a beautiful girl who is unreal and fake.

12. Real is Ethical

A real person is content, grateful, and satisfied. This is a person who has achieved self-actualization. They are empathetic towards themselves and others. This person lives the golden rule: Treating other people the way she wants to be treated. This person is courteous, patient, and respectful towards other people. They are their real selves and they do not need to act in unethical ways for greed and having objects in order to feel real. The real person is going to be a true friend and not intestinally betray others.

Conclusion: Real has a Meaning

Being real is not being the kid with the most toys or the adult with the most expensive SUV. These things alone are not known for making a person happy – at least not for long. The newness wears off and they are in the same place as before: wanting something newer in order to feel real again, which is really being unreal.

What is real then? D'Antonio (2004) explains that "It is not stuff or power or achievement, but rather a sense that you are using your time on Earth well, that you are connected to others and that your life matters (p. 185). At the end of the Velveteen Rabbit Story, it reads "But once you are Real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

Source

D'Antonio, T. (2004) The Velveteen principles: a guide to becoming real. Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield, FL.