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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Do men want a "B?" dating tips (book review)

A Review of:

Argov, S. (2006). Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart. Simon and Shuster Paperbacks: NY.

People, who know me, know that I only use positive language. I certainly would never use the “b-word” in conversation. And I’d definitely never call a woman one.

I did read an interesting book with the “b-word” in the title,” in early October. It was called, Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart by Sherry Argov.

I thought this book would be interesting to read. I assumed it would give some secrets on how women think. As a male, I thought it would give me ways that I could be a better man. I did find the book to be insightful.

Here is a quick review of the book. Argov discusses several things in her book, including:

  • “Bitch,” is used playfully. She’s not using it as a word to demoralize a woman. She uses it in a good-humored way. This is the type of woman who has her own life goals, has her own individual life, and she has a backbone when it comes to men. Backbone is having dignity and pride. She’ll be the woman who’ll make her own decisions.
  • Happiness: Argov makes it clear that it is the woman’s responsibility to be happy. She can’t depend on a man to do this for her. Doing so would be impossible and it would leave her in a vulnerable position.
  • Approval: Argov argues that a woman doesn’t need to be a person who is needy. It’s weak. She doesn’t have to be perfect, just interesting. It’s okay if a man doesn’t like her. She’ll be okay. She doesn’t need his approval.
  • Confidence: Argov suggests for the woman to be confident and independent because a man will respond to her differently than he will towards a needy, insecure, dependent woman. I think of it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. She must act (and be) a certain way, which communicates that she only accepts being treated a certain way. She won’t put up with any other behaviors from her man.

Overall, I agree with Argov’s book. I enjoy the company of several women and I spend time with them by doing on dates. However, I’m still single. Argov suggests techniques on how a woman can win a man’s heart. As a man, I’d definitely go for the woman who is like “the bitch” described by Argov. Of course, I’d never use that word.

I feel fine being single. I’ve told my parents and friends that I don’t plan to ever get married. My parents seem disappointed. If I do, she’s had to be a woman who I’d feel, “hmm, that would be awesome to be married to her.”

I feel that many of Argov’s techniques could be reversed and used by a man.

Here are some techniques that I feel that a man could use from the book:

  • Be a man who is in control of himself.
  • Don’t act confident – be confident.
  • Be responsible for his own happiness and well-being
  • Always dress for success
    Develop many skills. Be able to do many things. Be a man who can not only change a tire, but one who can cook an awesome meal for his woman.
  • Have an independent mind.
  • Be Calm and collect in all interactions.

Here is an amazon link if you'd like to get the book:

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